There is something missing
between the cricket
songs and the croaks
of the frogs,
an emptiness
where once the night
was full. It was some time
before I recognized
the absence
before I understood
the differing
degrees
of silence.
I have been watching
the house for many
nights, the movement
of shadows
from room to room.
The lights no longer
stay on all night,
darkness
regains its dominion
a bit earlier
each evening. The
figures
behind the windows
are no longer restless
and I am able
to identify
the absent sounds…
there is no pulse
pounding in my ears,
no breath
to form whisper mists,
and cries no longer
reverberate from the house.
I begin to fade.
Awakened Words 
A lovely form for a powerful poem. It reminded me of de la Mare’s The Listeners.
BTW, near the end, shouldn’t it be breath (noun) rather than breathe (verb)?
thanks Viv. I had not read The Listeners before (and now like very much), but yes, it is similar in theme.
I love ‘The Listeners’ My sixth grade choral group won gold with it!
very nice…it reminds me too of another poem exploring the forms of silence…i cant think of the name of it off hand…not the one viv mentioned…hmmm…like the fade at the end as well…as we oft have to fade ourselves to get to that point…
on second read it is almost like there is a ghost…someone gone that is watching until they are comfortable enough to move on to the beyond…
Excellent!
this is so beautiful… it flows fluently, and the closing line is perfect.. a great read.
i love the way it starts, with noticing space between cricket song and croaking,,, and the form, very effective… the I that observes, and fades away
I like, am affected even more by this than when I first read it… there’s a sadness that (for me) creeps in in August, a feeling of endings to come…
Observation, and desire to go beyond that…be more sensitive; an art beautifully taped.
awww. beautiful reflection on the noticing, and the missing, and the checking out. very nice.
Ach! Have you sat and gone back, even just a year, to look at your poetry then and your poetry now? No? Do so. I feel like I am reading a new person. I’m almost more excited about your poetry than mine. Keep playing with structure and how it enhances content.
I have looked back at a few things. I will go through the ‘revise’ file and wonder why I ever felt a piece was worth revising…some I still like, but most over a year old get the grimace and a shake of the head. 😉
I get the sense that the watcher is watching the inner self, a house, a whole, one that he is finally beginning to see and hear as he himself stops controlling …
Intriguing write, I like how the watcher slowly becomes aware of an absence……..and then fades away himself……
Someone is watching and it’s not comforting! One gets that feeling sometimes! Nicely Mark!
Hank
Very haunting… and the last line is chilling. I love this piece, and thank you for sharing,