The Truth in Her Eyes

The Truth in Her Eyes

Her eyes have always fascinated me,
all her emotions are found within,
shades of green and blue to denote
mood; come closer, stay away.
One day I caught a glimpse —
deep inside those eyes —
of what she sees
when looking
back at
me.

escher-eye

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28 Comments

Filed under Poetry, Poetry - Prompts

28 responses to “The Truth in Her Eyes

  1. Super fun. The ending surprised a little gasp! I am looking at ‘at’.

  2. Oy! Not easy. You may have to try:
    deep inside those eyes –
    of what she sees
    when looking
    inside
    me.
    I don’t have a problem with the repetition and if you do I suspect it’s easier to replace the first ‘inside’. I might have a problem with the rhythm. It halts. It’s growing smoother with each read πŸ˜‰

  3. I like the halting aspect. Comes across as breathless.

  4. I like your verse just the way it is. Stunning.

    Mark, I am a known for not following rules, but then perhaps it is only because I just don’t know them all or don’t care. I wrote my piece before I saw the image…but it fits – the same image you used.

    http://julesgemstonepages.wordpress.com/2013/05/28/fates-converge-a-may-acrostic/

  5. here is to hoping it is not that death mask in the picture…have you been to tony’s yet…his is very similar today….odd coincidence….you def leave room for us to fill in what she sees…

  6. nice…we can see so much in someone else’s eyes..

  7. I don’t see anything wrong with leaving a weak line now and then. It’s a tool like anything else. Good poem.>KB

  8. true……. We look into so many different eyes on the average day. How wonderful it is to find a pair looking back in admiration……

  9. Darn it. I want to know what she saw. Perhaps we see ourselves in other people. A very enjoyable read.

  10. Love it! We often forget our image when looking at others.

  11. well done… and makes me think too of the stories we create for others, imagining we really do know what is happening inside of them… how often we are wrong… because we are seeing their lives through our own eyes and that colors everything.

  12. And what did you see in the glimpse? Thought provoking, Mark.

  13. Mark, the ones I am suspicious of are the ones who don’t return my gaze. Is this form “richtmeter” or something like that? I like how it works well with the image.

    Pamela

    • Similar. The rictmeter goes up by two syllables per line to 10 and then back down. The nonet starts with a nine syllable line and goes down to one, the etheree goes up from one to ten. I always get them mixed up, so this one goes from ten down to one. Call it what you will. πŸ™‚ a noneree? A ethenet?

  14. One has to wonder what she sees…

  15. …eyes is the mirror to our soul… that perfectly fits it… smiles… kind of forgetful of the form but i guess i have already encountered this somewhere…

  16. Hmmmm…interesting twist at the end of this little love poem. The image staring back is rather eerie. My question would be, is what she sees what you project? Nice little piece, Mark.

  17. I know what she saw in that glimpse. It’s right there in the poem. Nice writing here, I like the long-to-short format. -Mike

  18. Hi Mark,
    What a lovely poem. We were both on eyes – and both writing to forms too.

    I have a suggestion to deal with the weak ‘at’ in your penultimate line, if it’s still bothering you. In “deep inside those eyes –” change inside to within. Now you can change “back at” to “inside” without repetition.

  19. Love this and the word tapoer is cool.

  20. Hopefully her eyes will still fascinate you! Nice 10-1 poem – whatever it is called. I think rhythm here isnt as important as usual – as I read it line per line. I would have preferred the last line to have been “at me” but I understand the form would have been off.

Some of what I write is true, some is fiction; most is merely possibility.

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