Battleground

He limped along the silent
passages and vacant gardens,
forcing his back as erect
as possible —

never one to slouch,
..surgery could only
………….accomplish
……………..so much —

the crunch of the gravel,
wind in the chimes,
the sounds to accompany
the pain of his walk.

Far from echoing hospital halls —
……….doctors without answers,
………………….drugs he refused,
………………defeat he disowned —

the monastery walls
would not defeat his demons,
but it was a good place
to face them.

Monastery wall

Monastery wall (Photo credit: tillwe)

 

 

 

 

 

 

For Shawna’s Poetic words.

 

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25 Comments

Filed under Poetry, Poetry - Prompts

25 responses to “Battleground

  1. Your ending is awesome, and so true:

    “the monastery walls
    would not defeat his demons,
    but it was a good place
    to face them.”

    This is my favorite part, largely because of the sound:
    “the crunch of the gravel,
    wind in the chimes”

    “the sounds to accompany
    the pain of his walk.” … This makes me think of a person’s spiritual walk, which you do mention later, of course.

    I really like the way you’ve played with the alignment in this piece.

    “He limped along the silent” … This is a great stand-alone line.

  2. I love the final stanza. This is a moving poem. Thanks!

  3. Proud, independent and yet humble enough to know he can’t face his demons alone! Well written!

  4. you really made me not only see him but almost feel his pain…and yep…there are def. places that are better than others to face our demons..

  5. A very moving poem beautifully written, Mark

  6. nice…you paint a cool picture of him and what he has been through…i stayed at a monastery in pittsburgh one week….kinda eerie place on one level but peaceful on others….

  7. Love this story you tell so beautifully, the hope at the end.

  8. A strong write, Mark! If one cannot face one’s demons in a monastary, I doubt one can face them anywhere.

  9. We all have to face them sooner or later too, don’t we. Until we do they keep on at us.
    Fabulous write!

  10. Wasn’t sure if I’d read this but, I see I had, it was so worth another read though.

  11. oh! this is hard and sad and true… living with pain is such a burden to carry…. adding its own demons to those already crouching within us… great write!

  12. A wonderfully tight close on this, great read!

  13. I love the attitude in this one, Mark. Nice.

  14. almost heartbreakingly beautiful.

  15. Gorgeous poem, Mark. A well told short narrative in poetic form. You had my attention from beginning to end. To me, the ending made the poem live.

  16. Profound poem of courage.

  17. What a stunning poem, so many great passages-“drugs he refused, defeat he disowned” I loved that line. Also, perfect ending!

  18. Emily

    Love the ending. Resigned, but resolute. Well written.

  19. Uneven Stephen

    Really enjoy this poem; I read it over a few times. Such sadness, but with a tinge of hope and surrender at the end. Great write.

  20. Far from the echoing hospital halls I now hear resonating monastery bells. Will he wrestle demons? Or angels?

  21. Remarkable and wonderful

  22. Pingback: Poetry Inspiration: Flipside Records’ Word List ~ The List of Going Home « A 19 Planets Art Blog 2010/2012

Some of what I write is true, some is fiction; most is merely possibility.

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