Playing With Fire

He was no novice
to sins of the flesh,
and easily bored
by fawning young women
in heat.
Behind him was a black
trail of singed hearts
and charred memories;
A list of burned lovers
but never the flame
of love.

She stunned him
with the oppressive heat
of her beauty,
surprised him with vitriolic
disdain and a terse
dismissal.
The only one able to sear
his soul
vanished like smoke,
leaving him with an
unquenchable fire.

Playing With Fire

Playing With Fire (Photo credit: Proggie)

Β Notes: Written for Three Word Wednesday: Flesh, Novice, Sear. First off,with the upcoming summer kickoff weekend it was almost impossible to not write something about a steak on a grill.

Secondly, last night I watched the MASH episode where Radar was doing a creative writing correspondence class and beefing up his vocab with excessive adjectives. With that in mind I decided to play with this piece a bit using a lot of synonymous adjectives around the idea of heat/fire/burning. The result is above. The first thought that came to mind was much briefer and below. Which do you prefer?

He was no
novice
at sins of the
flesh,
but she seared
his soul
with the heat
of her beauty
before casting him
aside.

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11 Comments

Filed under Poetry, Poetry - Prompts

11 responses to “Playing With Fire

  1. I like them both but, I do like the concise effect of the second Mark

  2. I had trouble deciding. I like the conciseness of the second, but I like some of the lines in the first…

  3. Sexy. Seductive. Soul-searing. Loving this. Both are divine, but I prefer the first. The cadence of it is more seductive I think.

  4. like them both but I think I actually prefer the longer one.They are both exceptional.

  5. The longer one provides the backgrouind to justify the denouement.

  6. k~

    I prefer the longer version.

  7. I enjoyed both but the first evoked more emotion and sensory imagery. I could picture the callous man tossing away his used loves and then karma kicking him in the butt as he gets a taste of his own medicine πŸ™‚

    Just not getting the steak on the grill analogy though πŸ™‚

  8. I love what is small and complete, yet the first one here has such a consistent flow and redeeming end. Good for her! πŸ™‚

Some of what I write is true, some is fiction; most is merely possibility.

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