The Park

Along these peaceful park paths, where children play and lovers roam,
is where she finds me, face a-shine and kite ready to be flown.
Others see me walk alone, tears flowing as her ghost follows.

Kites Over Devou Park

Kites Over Devou Park (Photo credit: ChrisIrmo)

For his Reverie this week, Joseph Harker prompts us for a Sijo. Above is my attempt.

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14 Comments

Filed under Poetry, Poetry - Prompts

14 responses to “The Park

  1. Very nice. You have the idea. Now I really have to try it. My brain is being stubborn.

  2. k~

    Tragically beautiful.

  3. Shawna

    Oh my goodness, are you kidding me?!

    “is where she finds me”
    “Others see me walk alone”
    “as her ghost follows”

    You’ve outdone yourself.

    • Thank you. Read about the form, if you don’t know it already, calls for a twist at the end. Ideally suited to me.

      • Shawna

        I’ll check it out. … Just posted a HUGE bonus word list; you could get a few poems out of this one. Are you up for it? There mostly sweet words, so I’d love to see you turn them dark. 🙂

  4. leahJlynn

    To have ghost follow someone they love, is kind of romantic.

  5. Excellent sijo, sad poem. I found the form difficult, too – too wordy for me – but yours works really well

  6. OhmyWORD. This is fantastic. Gorgeous, and sad. And gorgeously sad. And sadly gorgeous. Whew. You’ve undone me.

  7. This form you rocked, and this poem tears at my heart, except the ghost that finds me is a he…love it!

  8. Well Done ! and definitely a haunting twist at the end !!

  9. You definitely pulled off the twist in the end, I wasn’t expecting the ghost…great write, Pamela!!

Some of what I write is true, some is fiction; most is merely possibility.

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