Storm Cloud Tears

The pewter-grey clouds look ominous,
dark horizon where a sunset should be,
sending tourist indoors.

I wander the empty lanes, indifferent to
to imminent rain. The cries and beating of
seagull wings follow me into
every alley–

intractable flocks undeterred by
the oncoming storm, their only concern
to accomodate perpetual hunger,
never ones to squander opportunity —

haunting reminders of a sea
close enough to salt my skin,
blue-green waters I dare not
gaze upon for fear I might see
the color of her eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

Written for The Sunday Whirl wordle. Also posted to Sunday Scribblings.

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23 Comments

Filed under Poetry, Poetry - Prompts

23 responses to “Storm Cloud Tears

  1. I like the way you start and end with story and use the gulls as a bridge. You make them so gull-like, I can hear them. Do you know Frost’s ‘Acquainted With the Night’? This has the flavour.

    • Was not familiar, am now. 🙂
      It is a similar feel. I like his repetition (always fearful of using that much) and the form/rhyme scheme. Need to read more of him, always like him but woefully undereducated (me of course, not him).
      Thanks!

      • Frost was my first love and remains my favourite poet, so I have read everything by him. He loves to play with rhyme especially as a way to move the poem. His rhymes are often motifs because of the way he uses them. Check out ‘Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening’. The rhyme scheme fascinates me.

      • That one I knew! Did forget about the rhyme in it though, and do like it.

  2. Awww… so sad to not want to be reminded of beautiful eyes. This is filled with wonderful imagery, strong, yet, loving and gentle.

  3. I love “close enough to salt my skin.” what a beautiful feeling/image.

  4. Your words have both a universal and other-worldly feel..like you reach the point inside where it doesn’t matter how much rain falls on you any more..wonderful imagery and feeling..Jae

  5. Oh my word, these lines:
    “haunting reminders of a sea
    close enough to salt my skin,
    blue-green waters I dare not
    gaze upon for fear I might see
    the color of her eyes.”

    Fantastic.

  6. Beautifully done. You definitely are a master of effective endings. I didn’t see that last stanza coming, and the last two lines too my breath away.

  7. tmhHoover

    The feel of the poem seems to build and then is sealed with your ending. Nice wordle.

  8. Wonderful flow to this one, Mark. I especially liked: “Sea
    close enough to salt my skin.” What a great line!

  9. This is beautifully penned, Mark. I love anything bird related in writing.

    Pamela

  10. Mark, great imagery and nice touches in this one. I like how the weather has chased the tourists indoors, but not the speaker – and not the gulls. Ahh… those green eyes.

    Richard

  11. Very evocative, both setting and final conclusion. Wonderfully sensitive use of the wordle words. Hell of a satisfying poem.

    Elizabeth
    http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/2012/04/29/the-dream/

  12. Sea-green enchanted eyes…the sea calls. Perhaps his love was a mermaid?…If you ever have the extra time on my blogspot site is a page entitled Mermaid Verse (though you can only leave comments on the home page), most of which were written for Brenda’s Wordles. I almost thought of adding to that collection with this list. …still could I suppose…
    http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/p/mermaid-verse.html

  13. rosemary mint

    I like this:

    “blue-green waters I dare not
    gaze upon for fear I might see
    the color of her eyes”

  14. Oooooo. For fear you might see her eyes. Wow. I didn’t expect that! The gull life is oh so familiar. Love it!

  15. b_y

    Nice ending to cap that atmosphere.
    I especially like the gulls’ perpetual hunger.

  16. This has the ring of a vacation booked for two, taken alone. There’s such a melancholy feel to it. Very nice.

  17. “haunting reminders of a sea
    close enough to salt my skin,”

    This is great, Mark!!

  18. I sort of stumbled upon your blog and had to compliment you on your great sense of constraint.

Some of what I write is true, some is fiction; most is merely possibility.

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