dVerse – Framed Couplets

Trite Advice I Was Never
Smart Enough to Take 

Sneak quick kisses in the bright sunlight,
peak behind her wishes late at night,
hold tight to every passing moment,
boldly make memories others dreamt.

Take advantage of chances to dance,
ache for her glance, trust to romance,
lust fades in hours, words have power to hurt,
trust, give flowers, remember to flirt.

Show her each day the depth of your love,
blow dandelions, thank the Lord above.

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15 Comments

Filed under Poetry

15 responses to “dVerse – Framed Couplets

  1. Rhyming anything is not my strong suit, but that was the form to try. So, I try. Check out the others at http://www.dverspoets.com.

  2. hobgoblin2011

    Nice job Mark. I had a lot of trouble with the opening rhymes myself and I rhyme all the time, so don’t feel bad if it wasn’t necessarily easy for you, which came out great. love the title as well, I’m a big fan of titles and especially how they tie into the piece, great one here. Thanks

  3. Shawna

    Love this line: “peak behind her wishes” … But do you mean “peek,” as in take a look? Or do you mean “peak,” as in … ? 🙂

  4. Lovely! Rhyming is not a weak suit. Romance is a strong suit! K.

  5. This was a lot of fun and I agree, great title.

  6. nice..i def love the dandelion ref…i know they say they are weeds but i think them a beautiful flower…that will def take over a lawn…smiles…and romance is def a learned skill you know…smiles.

  7. leahJlynn

    The last two lines i love and try to live by rules. minus the she.( He) Lovely write.
    http://leah-jamielynn.typepad.com/blog/2012/04/regardless-i-believe-in-love.html

  8. Nice advice.
    Beautiful frame.
    I will be recommending this to my special someone!

  9. Hiya Mark,
    It may be new to you, but your verse is thick with rhyme. Inside, on the edges, every which way. Wonderful. And it has content, which is easily lost in the search for form. Just promise me that you will never ever blow dandelion seeds in the direction of my garden 🙂

  10. Gay

    Mark, beautiful poem today. It’s playful, full of romance, springtime – not a lot to criticize here.

    Keeping the first words to one syllable, I don’t have to talk about it being ONLY the first SYLLABLE at the beginning of the couplets, that rhymes in this form. All your rhymes are true on the front and back of the lines and you adhered to nine syllables [which I think is in the spirit of what Hector wanted but not exact to the STRESSED, unstressed, STRESSED, etc. line of nine syllables]. The only thing I might point out is that when one end stops the lines, one doesn’t get that jazzy feel that was intended. However, in this piece, as constructed, I don’t think it would work as well as the way you’ve written it.

    So I’m saying this is perfectly suited to the subject and to your style. It is romantic, charming and light. I thoroughly enjoyed it and I’m so happy you accepted the challenge today!

    • Hi Gay,
      Thanks for the input, love the feedback. All of that was in my thoughts when I posted; it did feel a bit forced on some of the line breaks due to adhering to the syllable count. Multi-syllabic words to start the lines and strict adherence to the meter… Well, that will just have to come with revision. 😉

  11. kellifrog

    This is so romantic!

  12. The fact that you were able to put together a framed couplet poem is amazing – I myself have been trying, but failing – so hats off to you! Having said that, I knew I was in for a treat from that tongue-in-cheek title, and I certainly wasn’t disappointed!

Some of what I write is true, some is fiction; most is merely possibility.

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