Friday Night Longing

Friday nights were the worst,
an odd mindset for a bartender —
it was the best money night —
but she always dreaded them.

She smiled, remembered
everyone’s drink, flirted where
necessary, was good natured with
the crass jokes and leering lushes.

Friday was when the best bands
played, It was only then, when the
music was at its best that you
might have to call her name twice.

When the ache was the worst,
and tequila would not kill the
thirst, one of the nicer drunks
might take her home, where,

if he cared to notice, there was
a guitar in the corner. But it was
only after he left, and the tears
stopped, that she would play.

Guitar

Guitar (Photo credit: mrwalker)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Victoria Slotto offers the following prompt: Make an effort to so completely enter the persona of a character you create, whether in prose or poetry. Try to make it so real that your readers will believe that it’s really a part of your experience. I love this idea and try to do this with as few words as possible. Let me know how well you now know this character.

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14 Comments

Filed under Poetry, Poetry - Prompts

14 responses to “Friday Night Longing

  1. …while my guitar gently weeps… (Beatles?)
    Enchanting…to become someone else, briefly…giving them a moment of life.

  2. So sad, such a lonely longing, just to be loved. Great job, Mark.

  3. Beautiful work, love it 🙂

  4. Mark, I felt I was right there with you in the bar. The bartender did seem real to me, and I could picture her playing guitar at the end of the long night.

  5. Mark, I love this. I know this character all too well, minus the guitar, from past life nonsense. You have captured her perfectly. The last stanza is so sad. I need only replace guitar with pen to be 100% there.

    Now, get thee to a Ghazal, young man. You will rock it. 🙂

    • Thanks De. I did post a ghazal for Joseph, just not real happy with the outcome. Misread a couple of ‘rules’.

      • That happened to me the first time. Be sure to save your draft, though. I deconstructed my original today, tore it completely down and did the new one from it. Still not sure I did it right, but much happier with it.

  6. Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    Tequila shots are for those
    Without dinner for two.

    Great poem, Mark. Very emotional.

  7. The ache and the guitar. Okay..

  8. The mood of loneliness persist in the character. Life repeating itself, over and over again. Finding some release in a solitary moment with a guitar. Nice write Mark.

  9. Wow, Mark. This one hurt. You certainly captured the sadness and loneliness of her character. I see this as the seed of a short story or novel. I think many of us have experienced the emptiness of being alone in a crowded, noisy, “happening” place. Really great negative capacity.

Some of what I write is true, some is fiction; most is merely possibility.

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