Dead End

The chase was over,

she had lost,

dead end room.

A lock on a flimsy door

the last barrier to

her tormentor.

Insidious, triumphant

scratch of

nails on wood,

before it shatters

inward.

13 Frightened Souls

13 Frightened Souls (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Something new, why not? This is for the weekend challenge prompt at Trifecta: “Write a horror story in 33 words, without the words blood, scream, died, death, knife, gun, or kill. Good luck.” Not having any experience in the genre, reading or writing, I am sure it is amateurish and trite at best. But like I said, why not?

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19 Comments

Filed under Creative writing, Poetry

19 responses to “Dead End

  1. Very chilling….my pulse is racing.

  2. Great snapshot – it’s easy to visualize this. I don’t know if this was intentional, but something about how the poem is structured makes me think of labored breathing. It’s as if the narrator is trying to spit the words out between breaths.

    • Well, I kept trying to figure out how to work heavy breathing into 33 words, and I did think the structure help with the suspense factor….so I will pretend it was intentional. 🙂
      Rule of Thumb: If it works it was intentional. Opposite also applies.

  3. You never know what you can do until you try.

  4. Scriptor Obscura

    Hey, welcome to Trifecta! 🙂

    I am so glad that you have finally found this wonderful writing community that I have been participating in for a long time myself, and I really look forward to seeing future entries from you! 🙂

  5. Why does the woman always trap herself into a dead end??? 🙂

  6. This is one of my worst nightmares. Well written.

  7. Love your philosophy: If it works, it was intentional. Loved the image of the fingernails splintering the wood. That’s really scary.

  8. debseeman

    Literally, one of my nightmares is being trapped in a place where there is no way out. You scared me!

  9. I’ve had ‘trapped’ nightmares before. You wrote it well!

  10. My house was full of lousy locks on flimsy doors. I’ve changed about 50% of them. Now I may have to fix the rest. Yikes!!!

  11. Very well written. Nothing like training ones prey with the ” scratch of nails on wood”. You can see him grinning while she is quivering.

  12. Oh, I can just imagine her staring helplessly at the door handle. Good job.

  13. Thanks so much for linking up with Trifecta this week. Hope to see you back on Monday (10 am Eastern) for the new prompt and some exciting news about the changes Trifecta is making to spread the word about our writing community.

Some of what I write is true, some is fiction; most is merely possibility.

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