kissing the ceiling

Response to the We Write Poems photo prompt.

he slept while
she dreamed,
restless outside
of his thoughts.

he slept while
she roamed,
breaking chains
of indifference.

he slept while
she searched,
spread her arms
embraced the sky.

he slept while
she learned to fly.

Posted to dVerse Poets.

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11 Comments

Filed under Poetry, Poetry - Prompts

11 responses to “kissing the ceiling

  1. Shawna

    Uh-oh. He’d better wake up before she’s gone. šŸ™‚

    This is definitely my favorite:
    “he slept while
    she dreamed,
    restless outside
    of his thoughts”

  2. Caerlynn Nash

    I don’t necessarily believe it’s true, but this poem (especially the last line) reminds me of the saying, “Women get married expecting the man to change; men get married expecting the woman to remain the same.”
    Nice job!

  3. nan

    Well done! I like the repetition of “he slept” while she moved and few.

  4. b_y

    I think you got the photo. Her face is inches from a bulb, but he is flooded with light. The uneven parallels work, and better because of the short final stanza.

  5. Good job, Mark. I like what you saw with the pic, and what you wrote.

    Pamela

  6. Lots of good double entendre here and that is very good. I enjoyed the read.
    Regards,
    Donald

  7. Sam

    Thanks for this poem – very lovely read. I liked the start of the poem too (I thought at first that you were interpreting the picture as symbolic of a literally dreaming woman who’s asleep beside the guy, which was quite interesting to me).

  8. Two different people. Different dreams. I liked how you portray it here…

    opposites

  9. I like the contrasts in this poem between the man and the woman, and how sharply you illustrate them using repetition in each stanza. Nicely done.

    -Nicole

  10. I love this, Mark. My comment was to be nearly the same as what Nicole has already written…so I’ll so “ditto Nicole”! šŸ™‚

Some of what I write is true, some is fiction; most is merely possibility.

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