Free Write Friday – 1/6/2012

Kellie Elmore is hosting Free Write Friday again. The idea is to take her prompt and do a ‘stream of consciousness’ writing. Just see what comes out. So, it is a bit sketchy and rough draft-ish. But that is the intent. I used the same main character as last week. The prompt was: You have just woken up in the backseat of a car and you look up to see palm tree’s through the back glass. The sun is setting and you realize you are far from home… I honestly missed the ‘sun setting’ part.

First Vacation

I don’t know how long I was sleepin’, but I woke up to Momma saying’ “We’re here.” I am not sure how long I was sleeping, but it was dark before; now the sun was up and very bright. Momma and Daddy both had their windows down and it was warm, but different. When we left home it was hot too, but it was also sticky; the kind of hot where you were always seating. This felt dry and smelled wrong. Almost like the fish we caught at the lake, but cleaner.

Looking out the window I could see funny looking trees. They had no branches! Really big leaves but they were way up top. No way to climb those. Jimmy was not going to believe me when I told him. The buildings were all odd too. At home everything was made of wood away from town, and all the stores and buildings in town were brick. These all looked like concrete with windows and doors stuck in them. And there were a lot of them. I’ve never seen so many buildings and cars and people together in one place!

Daddy called it ‘the beach’. Said it was where he and Momma went when they got married. They had not been since, and I had never been more than an hour from home. That was only when we went to see Grandma over in Taylorsville. When they got married is when Daddy got the farm; he said that was a full time job. No time off. Ever since he went work for the ‘lectric company last year he and Momma would talk about taking a ‘vacation’. So that is what we are doing.

I am glad Daddy can take some time off. I miss the farm though. Riding on the tractor, playing in the hay, messing with the bulls. We still had the garden that Momma kept, and a couple of cows and the chickens. Not the same though. Did not see Daddy much during the week like before, but he was around on the weekends more.

Momma and Daddy kept looking at each other and smiling. Every once and a while Momma would look back and smile at me too. Said it was almost time. They had been telling me about a ‘big surprise’; the ocean. Said it was a lot of water; huge. I don’t know what the big deal is. i am always in and around the water. Me and Jimmy play in the creek almost every day; we go to the swimming hole in the summer; sometimes we go fishing at the lake, and it is big. Almost cannot see the other side. It is all just water.

Daddy finally pulls into a parking lot and tells us “We’re at the beach”! I get out of the car and notice the sound for the first time. It is like a cross between hearing the train coming and the splash big Sam makes when he bellyflops at the swimming hole. The wind is blowing a lot too, and there are white birds everywhere; they are loud too. We grab towels from the trunk and head off over a little bridge they got leaving the parking lot.

When we got to the top of the bridge and I could see the other side I just stopped. I could tell Momma was laughing and Daddy was just standing there beside me. Everything was white and bright all the way up to the water. So much water! And blue. Not like the dark, dirty brownish-blue of the lake. Like Momma’s eyes blue with the sun shining off it. There could not be this much water!

Wow. Jimmy was NEVER going to believe this!



Filed under Creative writing, Flash Fiction, Free Write, Short Story

5 responses to “Free Write Friday – 1/6/2012

  1. You’ve captured the wide-eyed wonder felt at seeing the ocean for the first time very well. Really enjoyed this.

  2. It made me so happy to see you return this week for FWF! So, let me thank you with a BIG HUG!!! Now, I must tell you, I am totally in LOVE with the way you write. It’s so nostalgic and you have a southern way with words that tugs at my heart, reminds me of “home”. You have yourself a fan my dear, I could read you all day long!
    I hope to hear more from Jimmy and yourself, and all the mischief you are sure to get into…this is a great story coming along here! Thank you for sharing it with me and I hope I can continue to inspire and bring many more chapters from you! 🙂
    Thanks again! See you next week?


  3. Eliza

    Aw this is such a cute little story!

Some of what I write is true, some is fiction; most is merely possibility.

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